How To Cope With Miscarriage
Different people handle miscarriage in different ways, but it’s not uncommon to feel devastated as you would after any other loss in your life. If you’re having trouble coping with a miscarriage or it’s causing a rift in your relationship with your partner, ask your doctor for a referral to a therapist for counseling services.
This one’s easily done. He’ll see the whole situation differently. He might try to fix it. He might wonder why it’s taking you so long to get over it. He probably won’t have a clue about the million and one ways it affects you every day. Unless you explain it in terms he’ll understand.
Friends or relatives; it really doesn’t matter – you need women you can trust. Women you can cry with. Women who can hug you. Because no matter how sympathetic a man is, a woman will understand you in a very different way, and part of the healing lies in fully comprehending the loss, all its implications, navigating the train wreck and beginning to get a little perspective.
Take your time to “get over it”
Grief affects everyone differently. Don’t anticipate a certain length of time before you feel ‘normal’. Go with what works for you at the moment. Don’t rush. Whatever you’re feeling is normal, has been felt by others before you, is not completely mad. If you need it, seek professional help to get through this.
It should go without saying, but it’s easy to let grief swallow you whole. It’s a vile, heartbroken place to be, (and you may hate me for saying it if you’re still in that darkness) but you did not stop living. You will do yourself no favors in the short or long run if you grind to a halt. You need to eat, you need to wash, you need to get up in the morning and do *something*. Even if these things seem hollow and pointless, keep going – persist and it will help you later. Do it for the ‘you’ in a few months time.
The loss of a child in pregnancy is a terrible tragedy which can never un-happen. If it’s happened to you, you’re part of the Invisible Moms Club. Your life was altered the moment conception took place; you are a Mom, and it’s heartbreaking that you haven’t that child to show for it. Yet Good can still be wrought, even of this pain – whether it’s sharing your story so that understanding and compassion can be spread, or being able to offer a shred of comfort and hope to a young woman suddenly faced with the loss of her unborn child and all that entails.